I can’t even explain the feeling. Butterflies in your stomach isn’t even comparable. It’s unimaginable uncomfortableness. Unnerving, uneasy, unpleasant and it’s unavoidable.
There’s so much worry and fear. Yet, there’s so much HOPE. That’s what amazes me most. The never-ending, vast amount of hope. Hope. Hope that the chemo is working. Hope that the surgery goes as smooth as possible. Hope that the cancer goes away. Hope that it never, ever comes back. Hope that Parker lives a very long and happy life. And the anxiety and fear, no matter how severe, cannot take the hope away.
Parker goes in for scans on Monday. He’ll spend all day getting an MRI, CT and PET scans. I couldn’t be more nervous, but I’m holding on to hope.